i want a child!

if i can't have my mum with me 24/7, can't i at least have a child of my own?
really want a child of my own. so badly sometimes.
just for the selfishness of having a company,
and the availability of hugs.
and of course, i really want to be a good mum.
i really do.
it's one of my biggest aspirations now.

working in the childcare made me feel more loved.
cus i always, ALWAYS, get hugs, and give hugs!
hee :D
i was just telling ricky that i was going to change his diaper in a minute.
then as i wanted to get the children on and going and done on diapers (after nap), i carried ricky to the bathroom. As i held him in my arms, he rested his head on me!
OH GOSH!
that was such an "awww~" moment.
i don't know how to describe it.
it was so "Awwww~", and i didn't want to let him down.
Ricky is known to be the "naughty" kid in class.
and when he actually rested his head on me like that,
i was just.. oh-so-subdued.

sigh (':

and then alexandra.
the 16months girl who used to give me a hard time putting her to sleep.
now she always hug me from the backkkk.
and if i was standing, she would rest her head on my legs.
"Awwwww!!"

sigh (':

then nicholas.
the one boy that i was attached to, and was attached to me since day 1 of interning.
even though it seems throughout the day he may not need me as he runs around and play,
it's funny how as i was disciplining him by walking him over to wash his hands after snack, he was all "No No No", but i followed him through with washing his hands, and then he wanted to be carried and he never let go.
that is what i like about him (: hahaha. really though.
it's like, he sticks with me like glue!
really persistent.
really consistent.
soon later, his dad came and i wanted to pass him to his dad.
but nicholas totally refused to get down and stuck his leg to my waist, and head on my chest, refusing to let go.
it was an "Aww" moment, but i felt bad for his dad. haha.
and his dad was all "i know you like aunt cindy"
(-.-')
dude. im not that old.
anws.
i like nicholas so much!
hahar.
just cus he is not like that with anyone else (:
aww.
it makes me feel so special.
haha.
k larh.
confidentiality.
but oh wells.

why i want a child so much.

1) i want a child who runs to me the moment i walk in the door! (:
2) a child who calls me "Mummy! Mummy!" excitedly.
3) a child who's attached to me (mummy) and daddy (whoever).
4) hold hands!
5) play (:
6) raising them. (REALLY REALLY WANT TO RAISE THEM!)
7) "bear fruits"

hee :D